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Carrboro is THE small town with everything! Well, almost everything.... we have cafes, restaurants, parks, grocery stores, a radio station.. Almost everything you can think of and need to live comfortably in the 21st Century. What we don't have are movie theaters(but we have Vis-Art Videos), a massage parlor(but Chapel Hill has one we can use), a hotel and a newspaper.

I felt it was my civic duty to make Carrboro a more complete town and thus I have decided to launch it's first newspaper- The Carrboro News. Thanks to news organizations like Fox News, the job of reporting news has become much less mundane. To run a news organization you no longer have to worry about such time-consuming tasks as confirming facts and sources, being objective and having to worry about accuracy!

Historic Photos

The Original Trains Restaurant(circa 1905).
A Restaurant years ahead of their time, they were the first to use treated lumber and plastic tables and chairs.

(The Carrboro News Historic Photo Archives)

605 Main Street(circa 1923)
Robert Main had the vision of building the tallest building in Carrboro, creating a masterpiece twice as tall as the reigning queen, "The Carr Mill Mall.

(The Carrboro News Historic Photo Archives)

The direction that news gathering has moved is a blessing to every lazy, unmotivated, ADD(Attention Deficit Disorder), fiction writer. And so I can finally engage in my civic duty, while offering Carrboro it's first and BEST(Self-promotion/Lack of modesty is another trait that news organizations have picked up lately)local newspaper, but best of all, I won't have to waste a lot of my time doing it! A dream come true!

We will be offering News Stories about what's going on around Carborro(and sometimes the World as we recognize that Carrboro is a barameter of International Affairs and influences the decisions made by many world leaders!), as well as awards so that we can recognize all those little things(including people) around us that make Carrboro such a ummm.... well, let's just say, unique Community. We will also be happy to accept articles by guest "reporters" if you would like to contribute.

  LuvTown=Love Team USA=Carrboro
Carrboro Unleashes the Secret Weapon that Bags Them the Gig!
  CVS, Aldermen and Community Agree CVS Development Plans!
The abandoned derelict building on Franklin Street.
  Mason's Picks- Why waste your time on the Internet when we can waste it for you more efficiently...
  "I Like Big Penises" Two Minutes of Fame vs. A Life of Infamy
  The Carrboro News Subscriptions- Working out the Kinks
  Clinton-Obama Overcome Differences! Party at UNC Frat Party!
  Our Ship Comes In! The Carrboro News' Hard Work Pays Off!
  This Could be Your Happy Iraq Story!
  Keeping up with The Jones Carrboro Style- "It ain't as expensive as you think"
  Carrboro Train Station Set to Open- Rail Link Puts Town on The Right Track-Leaves Chapel Hill Railing
  No More Mr. Bad Guy-
Carrboro Police Department Shops Hollywood for New Image
  Fighting for Greenpeace! Save Land!
  Weaver Street Market to Expand.... Targets Super Target!
  Carrboro Decides to Build Up.....Out..... and Down...
and as a Matter of Fact... All Around
  Incumbent Coleman to be Elected for First Time......
  Rules Examiners Meet to Examine Carr Mill Commandments
  UNC Park 'n' Ride- Safest spot in Carrboro/Chapel Hill...
  Weaver Street Rules Game- Find the missing Rules!
7 rules not enough- 11 Maybe!
  Weaver Street Unveils New Good Neighbor Rules!
A photograph Essay
  Loitering Easter Bunny Arrested with 10 Children at Carr Mill Mall!
  Overfishing Great White Sharks wipes out Carrboro's Bay Scallop Fishery
The Carrboro Citizens wins First Award
  The Carrboro News welcomes The Carrboro Citizen-
When is a Paper not a Paper?
  Carrboro Golf Course Opens!
Woods- Coleman Trade Putters.
  Now You See It- Now You Don't!
Carr Mill Goes Coulteresque!
  Weaver Street Rules!
  Breaking the Weaver Street Rules- It's not as hard as you think!
  WCOM- The Little Radio Station That Could!
  Carrboro Town Board Green with Envy! Chapel Hill board Approves Single Twin Tower Building Project!
  The Carrboro News Recognized as Top Music Site in Triangle!
Town of Carrboro Admits Mistake- Builds another Brick Wall!
(Has Poll)
Town of Carrboro sends The Carrboro News Delegation to Greece!
(Has Poll)
Athens, Greece Demonstrates for Dancing Bruce!
Carrboro Bruce Demonstrators Dance with Athens Riot Police!
Our apologies, but when the Town of Carrboro sent us to Greece on a fact finding mission we had such a great time that we didn't really want to do any work. We want to thank the Town for the great vacation and we'll be posting our new stories in October.
Sorry for the inconvenience and The Carrboro News will prorate your subscription rates and refund a portion to you for these missed distribution dates.... thanks for the understanding!
Recommendation- The Carrboro Grande Bretagne Hotel (Has Poll)
Carrboro's Towering Inferno lights up the November night!


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