Free Classifieds......

Click here

New RSS Feed
Click icon
to sign up


To the
Front Page

Meet Our Correspondents

Mason's Picks

Select Internet Jokes, videos and more..... Visit this page- why waste your valuable time opening email attachments when we can waste your time more efficiently!

News Stories
2006 to Present

Block 3
Block 2
Block 1

About the Awards

2006 Awards

What U Thinking?
Five Seconds of Fame


Letters to The Editor

Another View
by Serious Journalists

Want to Make $$?
Sharing the Wealth

Sports Corner

Guide to Carrboro

Free Classifieds
Triangle Classifieds


Town of Carrboro sends The Carrboro News Delegation to Greece!

The Town of Carrboro, recently became aware that the cute little referral of Carrboro as "The Paris of the Piedmont", was not only anti-American, but also downright inaccurate. The French culture has little to offer Carrboro and the comparison is more than a little demeaning, as a couple of bottles of wine, a bike race and the Eiffel Tower hardly compares to the grand plans they have for Carrboro. Had Carrboro really been "The Paris of The Piedmont", Dancing Bruce would be dancing and the guillotine long stored in the basement of the town hall would have been taken out of retirement, placed in the town commons and served it's chief purpose of severing the heads of the wealthy landowners who forced their rule of law on the working people of Carrboro. No, instead the people of Carrboro rose in protest, signed petitions and reinforced the inefficiency and innate failure of a democracy to represent the needs(and wants) of the people. The Town of Carrrboro recogniaing that is frantically searching for a new comparision, the frontrunner being the one mentioned before(and first) in an earlier article, "The Athens of The America".

Wanting to get the program jump started the Town of Carroboro assembled a delegation comprised the best and the brightest of Carrboro(primarily The Board of Alderman and The Carrboro News staff) to investigate whether or not Greece would be an acceptable comparison. As the final budget was being approved, the Town of Carrboro suddenly realized that The Carrboro News was a fully staffed paper of 12 reporters, not just a single reporter, causing them to exceed their proposed budget by 100%. As a matter of fiscal responsibility and not wanting to incurr the wrath of the citizens of Carrboro, they decided to leave the Aldermans(Aldermen? Alder men and women?) home and send The Carrboro News Staff. Although they were a little hesitant about sending that motley crew to Greece unsupervised, they bit their lips and the bullet, and with bated breath, sent the delegation off amid a fanfare suitable for returning war veterans..

For the next two weeks the delegation will be reporting their finds back to the community as they explore Greece and send back ideas to be implemented in Carrboro to make it a more desirable community to live in(As you may have noticed, the Carrboro real estate market is stagnating a bit, and just as September was a good time for the Bush Administration to begin marketing the war against Iraq, the Town of Carroboro wants to begin immediately to market it's new image).

"Hello everyone! We're having a great time here! We've been here for two days and are just begining to get our articles together to submit. We especially want to thank the Town of Carrboro for this great opportunity to help make Carrboro a better place for everyone. The unlimited expense account provided by the town has come in very handy and don't worry, your money is being well invested! We probably wouldn't have stayed in these luxury suites in The Grande Bretagne, but it's important that we're well rested and taken care of so that we can maximize our productivity here. To give you a rough idea of our itinerary we'll be spending 3 days in Athens, 6 on an island in the Cyclades called Sifnos, a 5 day drive-through tour of the Peleponesus(Southern Greece) and then we'll wrap up the trip in Athens for three days before flying back first class(complements of The Town of Carrboro) to Carrboro and finally a private limosine ride back home. With this itinerary we hope to be able to look at what makes Athens a great city to live in, why the islands are able to draw so many tourists and finally how large areas that have not been developed can remain that way(although we fear it may be too late for Carrboro). With this knowledge we will be able to make recommendations on how to make Carrboro the best it can be!"

Looking for ways to improve the dining experience in Carrboro

Below we have a poll which we would appreciate you fill out just to make sure that we're modeling Carrboro after the right city. We'll continue our work regardless of the results of the poll, but we may have to send our delegation to another city if Athens doesn't get a favorable vote count!


SAVE $$$

Visit the New
Globe Merchant Search Engine
to find


click here

Click GO to Find

News Stories
  Block 3
Block 2
Block 1
Sports Corner

Five Seconds of Fame

copyright©2008 GlobeMerchant