Easter Bunny Arrested with 10 Children at Carr Mill Mall!
Some folks think
the Carr Mill Mall rules go too far while others think that
they don't go far enough, but ask the Easter Bunny and he
will side with the former. After being arrested on Saturday
and spending 4 days in the Orange County Jail locked in a
10 x 10 cell with 10 screaming kids he's ready to ditch his
eggs and grab a sign. "Who would have thought that I
was breaking the law? All I did was hang out on the lawn with
the kids and pass out Easter Eggs!"
And that was the
problem. The Carr Mill Mall states unequivocally that there
is to be no loitering and to the best
of our knowledge we did not see the disclaimer "unless
you are the Easter Bunny".
care if you're the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus or Jesus Christ,
you can't loiter here!" explained one unnamed employee.
The Easter Bunny
seemed to be flaunting the rules and with each step he took,
his appearance of challenging the rules became more obvious.
Dressed up like a bunny was a sure attention getter, and not
acceptable behavior at Carr Mill Mall. We must all blend in
and not bring attention to ourselves is the unwritten Carr
Mill Motto. We must all chant in metered unity "We're
individuals, we live in a unique town and we are all part
of this accepting liberal community!". Easter Bunny breaks
rule number one.
A large gathering
of people...ah oh.... two people are not allowed to dance,
but the Easter Bunny thought he could get away with attracting
a group of 10-15 children.... Easter Bunny breaks rule number
Passing out Easter
Eggs....ah oh.... The Easter Bunny should know better than
that- You are not allowed to pass out anything... literature,
free samples, a hat or Easter Eggs.... Easter Bunny breaks
rule number three....
And the third rule
break was the break that broke the camel's back..... and in
a moment's notice Easter Bunny and the kids were rounded up,
put in the paddy wagon and shipped off to Hillsborough.
Upon the arrival
of the Easter Bunny at the Jail all pandemonium broke out.
"Man, I can't believe the Easter Bunny been holed up
here with us", one inmate told The Carrboro News. "My
pastor told me that I was going to have to meet The Lord in
prison to straighten myself out, but who would have thought
I would meet the Easter Bunny instead. I think The Lord must
have sent the Easter Bunny because I wasn't quite ready!"
While in Jail the
Easter Bunny performed a minor miracle.... he fed a jail full
of 50 men with 3 hard boiled eggs and turned the putrid jailhouse
water into wine.
And so, what could
have been a disastrous public relations fiasco at Carr Mill
Mall turned into a heartwarming Easter Story that will fill
the hearts of many a man for many a year to come. The Lord
works in mysterious ways!