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What's Happenin' in the World of Badminton!
News and Hints from a former Olympic Gold Medalist(Badminton) and
NBA(National Badminton Association) Champion

Tomas Krukoski

Read about Honorary Contributor Tomas on The Staff Page

March 3, 2001
Hello Folks! I'm here to share with you the exciting world of Badminton. It's a spectacular sport full of excitement and surprises. It's popularity has taken a bit of a dive since it's peak year in 1976 when I won the Gold medal in The Olympics, but I sense it's on the upswing. I'll be keeping you up to date on the important breakthroughs as well as the "must knows" of the sport, as I hear about them. Stay tuned as I teach you about my revolutionary(20 years ago) techniques such as "Slam the Birdie", "Birdie English" and how to mentally prepare yourself to hit a birdie into overtime.

March 4, 2001
I'm very excited! ESPN is looking to pick up 4 new sports that represent the American Spirit of sport and competition. As you know the most popular sports in America are baseball, football, basketball and maybe bowling. Next comes Badminton. The National Badminton Association believes that a lucrative ESPN contract will be just what it needs to catapault it into the top 5 sports in Ameica. I can't think of a more deserviing sport that exudes so much excitement from the participant athletes and it's fans. I think we're there...

March 5, 2001
ESPN released it's list of the new Sports that will be given time slots in the coming years and will be dividing 100 billion in revenue...Are you ready for this?

!. NASCAR- That's a given...big American cars using an incredible amount of gasoline and spewing out massive amounts of Carbon Monoxide and Carbon Dioxide. I don't think any sport gets more American than that!

2. Poker- I think there was some under the table dealings here. Poker? I didn't even know that was a sport played by athletes. Can you imagine a poker player competing in the World's Greatest Athlete contest?

3. Dominoes- See Poker above. Same thing, except a lot of these guys come from Caribbean and Latin American countries and consume massive amounts of rum while playing their "sport". I can't imagine them entering the World's Greatest Athelete contest and even if they did, they'd never pass the required Alcohol/Abuse substance pre-event screening.

4. Hot Dog Eating Contest- ESPN has to be kidding, this is not even close to a sport. Watching 20 people of all nationalities, sexes and weights(believe it or not, the 300 pound American guy is rarely a match for the 150 pound Japanese Hot Dog Eaters) eating hot dogs, dipping the buns in water and stuffing them down their throats in front of 200 screaming fans hardly represents sport to me(but it is a very American concept of dining!). I'd like to see these guys enter the World's Greatest Athelete contest.

So there you have it folks, we were snubbed by ESPN, or maybe we were outbid. From the looks of it, I don't think we had the financial resources these other groups had to "help influence" the judging committee. We grossly underestimated the fact that ESPN was looking for something more than just a sport that was representative of America.

In 2012, ESPN will be adding another 4 sports and we want to be ready. Please send contibutions to Tomas Krukoski/Jack Abramson in care of The Carrboro News so that we can even the playing field next time(Please make a note on your check that it's part of The Badminton Influence Peddling Fund). More coming in the future....

Aug 4, 2006- It's been a disappointing five years in the world of Badminton. Tomas has been diligently searching for that earth shattering badminton news that we've all been waiting for, but it looks like the return of Badminton didn't happen as we at The Carrboro News predicted. We have to take risks in order to retain our position as the leader of Carrboro newspapers, but in this case we choked on the birdie. We apologize to all our badminton lovers who have been loyally following Tomas' column and have been religiously checking back the past five years for that first article. If you send us an email we'll be happy to notify you when the first article is published....thanks...The Editor




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