Bruceway- A Clear and Simple Solution
With all the unnecessary
namecalling, loss of sleep and emotional trauma, let alone the huge
rift that has opened between the residents of Carrboro(think wedge
issue here!), The Carrboro News has presented what we see has a
very workable solution to the Ban on Dancing Bruce Debacle.
A common complaint of
Weaver Street Market eaters as they sit at the tables is the
sweet aroma of carbon monoxide fumes mixing with the ever-present
Jade Palace Garlic scent and wafting over to the tables causes
a sensual(or maybe it was sensory- I can't read my handwriting)overload
when mixed with the Weaver Street food(both hot and cold bar)sitting
helplessly on plates on their tables.
The November 22 demonstration
to close Weaver Street to traffic had at least 70 participants chanting
anti-Weaver Street Slogans(the road, not the market or real estate
agency on Main Street. No wonder no one can every find Weaver
Street Realty- shouldn't it be Main Street Realty?--editor)
for a Guiness Small American village record of 12 hours. Accompanied
by such signs as "Down with Weaver Street(the street)"
and "Up with closing Weaver Street(the Street)", the motley
crew caught the eye of the Carrboro Town Government. All involved
thought they had made a breakthrough and the closing of Weaver Street,
the twinkle of a dream in every diners eye who has eaten a meal
at Weaver Street Market, would finally become a realty. But it was
not to be. As soon as the last protester packed up his sign and
drove home, the Great Protest of 2005 was forgotten by all.
It was not until The
Dancing Bruce was banned from dancing on the Weaver Street Commons
that the idea surfaced again. With the pull of The Carrboro News,
the relentlessness they possess and their rugged determination to
gingerly ram legislation through the Town Government, the idea was
given new life.
If we close Weaver
Street, we'll have a beautiful promenade not unlike the pedestrian
walkway that now circles the Acropolis in Athens. As the Parthenon
is to Athens, Carr Mill Mall is to Carrboro, two historic
buildings epitomizing the golden age of each town. A move
like this could easily raise the town's prestige. No more
would we be "The Paris of the Piedmont"(that should
have been dropped when the Freedom Fries were picked up!),
but instead "The Athens of The America". That will
more readily feed our grandeur of Illusion than any reference
to Paris could ever do.(Why would we compare ourselves to
the French who are so readily made the butt of so many of
our Carrboroian jokes anyway!). Now the Greeks.... That's
a CIVILIZATION worthy of being compared to Carrboro!
And the little
tiara that would sit on the hydrocephalic head of this grandiose
face-saving proposal? Rename that little de-automobilized
section of Weaver Street, The Bruceway, in honor of the brave
man who made this all possible. Along with a statue of the
Dancing Bruce there will be a plaque similar to another of
our great monuments to American tolerance of foreigners(The
Statue of Liberty) stating "Bring us your dancers- Israeli
Ahuv Sheli(A circular dance that would work nicely as participants
dance around the statue), Greek Syrtaki, American Folk, Rap,
Swing, Russian Ballet and single black men of any nationality
doing free style open movement dances. Our hearts and The
Bruceway will accept them all."
The Carrboro Town Government
is bracing itself for the onslaught of emails and phone calls in
favor of this proposal.
of The Bruceway and location of the site of the Statue of
The Dancing Bruce.
Click here and scroll
to the bottom of the page to see The Statue of the Bruceway
(note- this map is not drawn to scale and is not very accurate)