DREAM.....Dancing Bruce Sacrificed.....and Finally a Good Night's
In a grand fashion,
the warring parties united against the common enemy, called a news
conference and presented their plan to save Carrboro from Bruce
and other undesirables. But not everyone takes such a cynical view
of the events of the last week. I, for one, am relieved as I finally
had my first restful night without having been woken up by the horrendous
nightmare that's been recurring for the last 8 months.
My subconscious mind
seems to have gotten the best of me, and my greatest fears for the
future of my daughter resulted in a recurring nightmare that wouldn't
go away....until I knew she was safe.....And now, finally...she
But I think it's important
for the world to know the pain and loss of sleep that Dancing Bruce
has caused me. Can you imagine going to bed every night, terrified,
that THE DREAM is going to come back.....and then having THE DREAM
come back..... and waking up in a pool of sweat and staring at the
ceiling until dawn out of fear that THE DREAM will return if you
close your eyes even a wink. That was me!
THE DREAM started harmlessly
enough, siting on the lush green grass on the Weaver Street Commons,
daughter on my lap, watching the unicorns playing in the grass,
little angels dancing in the trees and The
Bruceway -devoid of traffic- only dancers from the world quietly
Suddenly in the distance
I can hear a slight buzz, which is getting increasingly louder...
off in the distance I see Swade and Stu Cole
driving up on their chopped bicycles, holding running chainsaws
over their heads. The pull up to the giant oak and begin cutting
at the massive trunk.... the unicorns look up and then disappear
through the Christmas Tree Lot and I fear are never going to be
seen again. Off in the distance I now hear music playing which is
getting louder and louder...
I look towards the railroad
tracks and see Dancing Bruce decked out in a full majorette uniform
marching towards Weaver Street, followed by hundreds of people.
But not just regular people- They are dancers, jugglers, magicians,
undesirables, convicts in their stripped prison clothes, Mormons
with their multiple wives, eight homosexuals dressed as Arnold Swartzenegger
and a pack of dogs, peeing and defecating on everything they can
see. It was like a tidal wave of the dregs of humanity, closing
in on me and my pure innocent daughter.
With a mighty crash the
giant oak fell, as it hit the ground it was instantly pulverized
and disappeared.... The parade entered the commons, like a tsunami,
devouring everything in it's way. As it approached us, suddenly
like the Red Sea, it parted and the entourage of the Carr Mill Owners(not
to be confused with the Weaver Street Market Owners) in their black
pin-stripped three-piece suites came marching through the parted
crowd, walking right up to us and saying "Don't worry, little
helpless girl and her father......we are here to save you".
As they marched past I saw that Nathan was in quick pursuit, trying
to keep up with them, followed by his own entourage of elves.
Carr Mill Owner #1, "Make these people be gone!" waving
his hand in the air like a wand. Nathan saluted his superior, clicked
his heels and turned towards the crowd.
"I want you gone
now!." he repeated over and over again...but to no avail.
At this point I am sweating
and beginning to worry about the fate my myself and my daughter.
What appears to be our only hope is not getting very far.
Suddenly, I see the crowd
part again and Ruffin appears and walks up to Nathan. He whispers
in Nathan's ear and then Nathan in his... and suddenly they break
out in a Tango. The Carr Mill Owners look back in disgust, but Nathan
winks at them as if saying "Don't worry...we have it under
They Tango across the
commons and suddenly the crowd joins up in pairs each group falling
into line until there is a long line of paired Tango-ers, following
Nathan and Ruffin, with a lone Bruce sitting on a bench quietly
reading a book. The line then goes off towards the Carr Mill Mall
and everyone disappears except us and Bruce.
Bruce looks at us and
says...."hmmmm.....How can I read with all those people dancing?"
he says with a wink. And then he stands up, bows to all four corners
of the world, kneels down, kisses the ground and says to my daughter,
"Dear, may I have the next dance?".
And so my greatest fear
is about to be realized when suddenly Nathan and Ruffin reappear
without the other group and whisper...."We would like to call
a Press Conference". and explain "We have come up with
a compromise.... We formally recognize Bruce as King of The Commons
and leave it up to him to use his discretion as to who can and can't
At this point I wake
up as I don't need my subconscious to tell me what this means....my
conscious mind is well aware of it..... The beginning of the end
of the Grand Society of Carrboro..... How can I possible go back
to sleep knowing the horrendous places that my dream would take
But that's all over now....Carrboro
is safe....and the unicorns are playfully dancing on The Commons.