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The
Great Wall of Weaver Street
With all the controversy
surrounding The Dancing Bruce,
The Hoopers and not to mention
Ted Nugent's Son, Carrboro is entered
a phase never reached before. Even the days of forced integration
pale compare to the wedge that has been driven between the Weaver
Streeters and the non-Weaver Streeter wanna- be's.(being cool, organic
and liberal doesn't come easy to everyone!).
Searching for an answer
was painstaking and often appeared futile, until Israeli showed
us the way. A fifty foot wall to keep them out and us in. What better
solution for any place, anywhere in the world. Walls are easy to
build, solid, long lasting and if wide enough they provide a large
walkways(ala The Great Wall of China). Yes, Carrboro is often compared
to the Great Civilizations of the Ages, but The Golden Age of Greece
is about as grandiose as we can get with this struggling little
village- although lately it is becoming surprising similar to the
competitive city-states of  Greece
as the warriors of Sparta try to overpower the educated and refined
Athenians.
So, it looks like a wall
it will be. Fifty feet of red brick that will be insurmountable
from either side. Not only will it keep undesirables on their side
of the wall, it will provide an additional 2 hours of shade to protect
both insiders and outsiders from the brutal NC summer sun.
The gateway, a majestic
archway with iron doors that will be able to withstand a fully loaded
Hummer traveling at speeds that would would burn 3 gallons of fuel
a mile, will be manned by Carr Mill Security. To get in you'll have
to provide your Weaver Street Market membership card. To get out
you'll have to pretend that you don't have one.
As you walk through the
gate, you must do a fancy pirouette while holding your hands high
in the air in a maneuver that looks like a cross between praying
and and trying to swap an imaginary bee in the sky.(This was Bruce's
contribution), while acting nonchalant.
"I think it will
be a great addition to the community", one resident told The
Carrboro News. "Jesse Helms suggest we put a fence around Chapel
Hill, but I think putting it around Weaver Street Market will suffice!"
The View of Weaver
Street Market from Maple View Ice Cream Rocking Chairs |
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