The Fight Started..
My wife sat down
on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She
asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And then the fight
My wife was hinting
about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150
in about 3
seconds.' I bought her a scale. And then the fight started...
When I got home
last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive. So, I took her to a gas station. And then the fight
I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
verify my age. I
looked in my pockets and realized I had left m y wallet
at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would
have to go
home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said,
hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed
Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my
wife about my
experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'you should
dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the
My wife and I
were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat
alone at a
nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed,
old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking
right after we split up
those many years ago, and I hear, she has n't been sober since.'
says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating
long?' And then the fight started...
I rear-ended a
car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and
slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes
just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I
couldn't believe it... He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to
my car, looked
up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!' So, I looked down
at him and
said, 'Well, then which one are you?' And then the fight started...
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