again.....Dancing Bruce can Dance!
Community 1, WSM/Carr Mill 0
In a turn of events that
left the Carrboro community stunned, the combined forces of the
Carrboro Aldermen(and women), our mayor, our state representative,
a chorus of ten thousand voices, a few scrappy hoopers, the thundering
voices of protesters, a little logic and some common sense helped
to put an end to this black period in Carroboro's illustrious History.
In the decades and centuries to come, historians from all over the
world will be looking at this event that almost changed the course
of town history and trying to figure out exactly what happened.
"From my perspective,"
one local modern historian told The Carrboro News, "Ain't nothing
happened! Some folks made a mistake and fixed it!"
Using the best of our
investigative skills and in dire need to get enough information
to help us make this a full page story we asked him to elaborate
on his ideas.
"Well, look at it
like this.... Bruce is dancing on the lawn... he ain't a performance
or nothin'.... he's just a guy dancing on the grass.....but you
have to remember.... he's dancing on a lawn, which is supposed to
be grass, but there is no grass.....so it's not really a lawn....
so.... we got this guy not performing on a lawn that's not a lawn....
So, some cop comes up to him who's not a cop and tells him he can't
perform on the lawn..... you can imagine Bruce's surprise.... he
thinks the guy's talking to someone else behind him or somethin'.....
Bruce thinks to himself " I'm not performing...and I don't
see a lawn anywhere around here....and this cop isn't a cop....
" You can imagine his total confusion...
"Well, Bruce stops
dancing....and it turns out that the reason he was asked to stop
dancing was because someone complained
that he was dancing.... but then you get about 500 people un-complaining
about his dancing..... the autorities figure out that they caught
a rat by the tail and have to figure out how to get rid of the ting
before they gets bit. What do they do? They confuse us.... they
talk about performances and sign ups and cleaning up garbage and
only one performance a week and how the community and the community
have to learn to live together because the community has certain
common space that the community must respect if the community is
going to live with the community.
"Then Weaver Street
Market volunteers to help sign up performances that never were performances
and clean up garbage that was never there before..... then they
say that only one performer can perform at a time, but Bruce was
never performing with anyone else..... so here we are making a rule
that if Bruce wants to dance then he must sign up as a performer
which is what he wasn't doing before that they said he couldn't
do, but now they want him to do it. So now Bruce who was told he
couldn't perform is now being told that he can't not perform if
he wants to perform..... I'm telling you.... this stuff is crazy....
"So the autorities
think...ok... it's all under control.... we got our rules, we got
our performances and performance bookers and cleaner-uppers.....and
we got Bruce back performing....but suddenly they realize that they
didn't have Bruce back because Bruce wasn't going to sign up for
a performance because Bruce was never performing in the first place.
So we have a problem here.... ain't nothing happening on the dirt
because this town don't got no performers.....
"So they have a
problem....what they thought looked like a good idea and an even
better solvation wasn't none of that because the problem that they
said they had in the beginning was never a problem.... so they're
trying to solve a problem that's not a problem... with a solution
that's not a solution.....
"As you can imagine...anyone
who thinks this one through is eventually going to realize that
something has to be done even though nothing should have been done
in the first place.... so they decide to fix what was fixed along
until they broke it....and they say.... ok.... there is no need
to sign up for performances.....no need to clean up the trash left
from those performances and the insurance that we didn't have to
cover performances wil probably cover someone who isn't performing....so
what they actually did....was turned nothing into something and
then back to nothing...so.... when I say ain't nothing happened....that's
"But mark my words....you
ain't seen the last of these guys...... they'll be back"