The Carrboro News welcomes The Carrboro Citizen-
When is a Paper not a Paper?

The Carrboro News recognizes that running a newspaper is a tough business. Hiring respected and capable journalist costs money. Printing the paper costs money. Distributing the paper costs money. Picking up the unread papers costs money. Selling ads to businesses costs money. Checking facts and providing accurate information takes time and costs money.

There seems to be an unspoken rule that newspapers don't recognize the existance of a competitor, or for that fact other newspapers, unless they are extinct and no longer a threat. And so it went with The Carrboro News as the The Carrboro Citizen's inaugural hard copy newspaper outlined a brief history of the illustrious Carrboro newspapers. Perhaps there was a cap on the number of words(when you're paying reporters by the word, they add up faster than you think!) they could afford. Perhaps, they were shaking in their shoes at the thought that there is not enough revenue in this little liberal mecca to support two local papers. Perhaps they don't even know that The Carrboro News exists and has been in production for almost 10 months. Whatever the reason they left out a very important fact making their whole article...well....ummm... inaccurate?

With the headline reading "Nearly a century later, town gets name on paper", you would have thought that there would be mention of the first newspaper in nearly a century, but for some odd reason the article focused on the second newspaper in less than a year, not the first one in nearly a century, but called the second one in less than a year, the first one in nearly a century. With that glaring ommision, it tends to leave a little room for questioning the accuracy of all the rest of the articles. Can you really trust what Kirk Ross says about The Carrboro Farmer's Market, or what Kirk Ross says about the Alderman moratorium plans, or what Kirk Ross says about the rules changes downtown.

We expect to hear shortly form The Carrboro Citizen that they meant the headline to read "Nearly a century later, town gets name on paper paper".(or perhaps it will show up in the ommissions and corrections section of The Carrboro Citizen). I suppose you could omit The Carrboro News from an article on Carrboro newspapers if you specify that the name Carrboro is on a paper paper and not an online paper for the first time in a century.

But what happens if an electronic paper is printed on paper and handed to your neighbor, isn't that enough to qualify as having a name on a paper paper? It all becomes quite confusing and appears that a paper is not a paper unless it's designated a paper. But then who is it that designates it as a paper- the paper that recognizes itself as a paper paper or the paper that's not a paper paper but recognizes itself as a newspaper with the name Carrboro on it's header? But are we talking about a paper paper or a paper newspaper? A newspaper on paper is a paper paper but what determines whether it is a newspaper or a paper paper with news?

The Carrboro Centipede was a paper paper on paper, but no one has a copy of the paper and the only person who says he saw a copy is a cook, not someone involved in the newspaper industry. Do we even know that the Centipede paper existed? How can a paper paper newspaper mention a paper paper that no one has seen but fail to mention a paper that is not only seen, but still being seen this very day!

So you see, running a paper or a paper paper or a paper paper with news or a newspaper is a very difficult business. Putting your name on a paper and swearing to it's accuracy is not a job for the feeble-hearted. When you write a paper, there's no taking the 5th or denying what you said because it's all there on paper for the whole world to read and take shots at you.

On a more serious note..... What are the goals of The Carrboro Citizen. An unnamed source who claims to be possibly affiliated with The Carrboro Citizen told The Carrboro News "When we reach the point where we have enough money that we can hire someone to put our paper in a plastic bag and drive around Carrboro throwing them out the window, then we will have succeeded! I know we will have succeeded when I can drive around town and see my newspaper laying in driveways, on lawns and on the street rotting away in it's decomposing plastic bag! That is success- or a paper paper form of paper paper conspicuous consumption- If you can affford to throw away your papers- let everyone know that you've arrived!".

Which leads me to my earlier career with The Daily Tar Heel. As delivery manager in the late 1980's I was tired of going out the next day and collecting the 4500 newspapers that were not picked up(out of 20,000 left in the newspaper stands the day before). I went to the manager of the DTH and told him we should cut back on the production so we don't have to throw away so many. "What?", he exclaimed. "If we do that we'll have to tell our advertisers and then we'll have to cut our advertising rates!". So next time you advertise in a paper paper, make sure that your ad is getting into the hands of a potential client, not heading off on a first class ride to the recycling center! -editor