SUV's-
The Silent Majority
I'm sure you've all heard
the health warning, we are what we eat, but did you know that we
are also what we drive? The automobile, whether it's sitting in
a flower garden looking like a giant
flower pot, or racing down Interstate 85 at 80 miles per hour
is a reflection of who we are. Every morning we climb into the clothes
that define who we are and then climb into our car that defines
who we are and then climb into our job that defines where we don't
want to be.
When someone sees you
driving, they have a basic idea of who you are, but some people
want to be better defined, so they add that little extra umph to
help define themselves by putting a bumper sticker on their car(The
"bumper sticker" has evolved in the last century from
meaning a sticker placed on the bumper of a car to a sticker placed
anywhere on your car.) According to our survey(See picture below).
50% of all vehicles on the road are SUV's, but according to another
survey we took 99% of SUV's don't have bumper stickers.
A The Carrboro News
fact: Clearly 50% of all vehicles in parking lots(and therefore
on the road) are SUV's.
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The Carrboro News believes
there are a number of reasons why SUV's don't have bumper stickers(Most
notable missing bumper sticker is the yellow ribbon that says "We
support our troops". We spoke to the upstanding citizens of
Carrboro and the consensus seems to be that SUV people are in a
bit of a quandry. Most do support our troops and would like to display
a sticker to make it known, but on the other hand they also recognize
that our dependence on foreign oil is also in part due to the fact
that we drive so many gas guzzling vehicles. So what do you do?
Show your support with a support the troops bumper sticker and have
people look at you with eyes that say "If you want to really
support our troops, why don't you get rid of your gas-guzzling pig?"
or you can not display the bumper sticker and have people look at
you thinking "Why don't you sell your car and buy something
a little more efficient so we don't remain so dependent on foreign
oil!."
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These
big boys don't need bumper stickers anyway... everyone knows
what their owners think!
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One resident, who wishes
to remain anonymous suggested that maybe the SUV'sy used to have
"support the troops" magnetic bumper stickers but they
fell off because the distributor, trying to save money and going
on Bush's assertion that the war would be short-lived opted for
the less expensive magnet that only sticks for 6 months.
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"God
Bless America" and a Florida license plate. There's no
doubt what this owner believes. |
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We're
sure that Bush-Cheney both appreciate this SUV owners support.
And the revenue the oil companies are raking in from SUV gas
sales. |
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Anyway, enough battering
of the SUV's by The Carrboro News.... Let's see what our readers think!
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