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When
Insults Had Class (no 4-letter words !!)
These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with
words was still valued, before a great portion of the English
language got boiled down to 4-letter words, not to mention
waving middle fingers.
The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said,
"If you were my husband I'd give you poison," and
he said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either
die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That
depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "on whether I embrace
your policies or your mistress."
"He had delusions
of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
"He has all
the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill
"A modest
little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston
Churchill
"I have never
killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send
a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about
Ernest Hemingway).
"Poor Faulkner.
Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste
no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea
of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter
saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his
friends." - Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my
new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George
Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly
attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so
miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made
man and worships his creator."- John Bright
"I've just
learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb
He is not only
dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson
"He is simply
a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't
cure." Jack E. Leonard
"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
- Robert Redford
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from
the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded
easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
- Forrest Tucker
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without
any address on it?" - Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the
stork." - Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever
they go." - Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...
for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang
(1844-1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening But this wasn't
it." - Groucho Marx
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