Arkansas
SAT Answers..
God help us
The following questions
and answers were actually collected from SAT tests given in
Springdale, Arkansas in 2000 to 16-year-old students! (Don't
laugh too hard----one of these kids may be the President someday.)
Q: Name the
four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper,
mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one
of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes
water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like
grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew
formed?
A: The sun shines
down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a
planet?
A: A body of earth
surrounded by sky.
Q: In a democratic
society, how important are elections?
A: Very important.
Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q: What are
steroids?
A: Things for keeping
carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens
to your body as you age?
A: When you get
old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens
to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye
to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major
disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How can you
delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the
cow.
Q: How are the
main parts of the body categorized? (E.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is
consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and
the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the
borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity
contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the
Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does
"varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: What is the
most common form of birth control?
A: Most people
prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the
meaning of the term "Caesarian Section."
A: The caesarian
section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a
seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a
terminal illness?
A: When you are
sick at the airport.
Q: Give an example
of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They
always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
Q: What does
the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what
you will be after you be eight.
Q: What is a
turbine?
A: Something an
Arab wears on his head.
Q: What is a
Hindu?
A: It lays eggs.
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