Incumbent Coleman to be Elected for First Time......

It's not usual that you have an incumbent running for office for the first time, but then again, there is nothing usual about Dan Coleman. A politician that would vote the way I would vote if I were a politician is indeed an oddity. It seems to be that today's Democratic politicians vote in a way that would make them less taunted targets of the Republican Right. Unlike the other Democrats, Dan Coleman does not subscribe to the Democratic Mantra "The only thing we have to fear is the fear that Republicans will attack us and call us names."

"I have no fear", explained Mr. Coleman. "If you're married and have a five year old kid, you've seen it all and been called every name in the book already!"

In a well-orchestrated "coming out" announcement, Mr. Dan Coleman extended invitations to the hard-hittingest community members and the local media. The Carrboro News attended as well as Carrboro's newest press corp, The Carrboro Citizen, also present was The Chapel Hill News, The News and Observer(of Raleigh) and Carrboro's finest radio station, WCOM.

It's a rare occasion when all present at a political convention can agree, but there was no disagreement on the weather- it was hot! Mr. Coleman, sensitive as he is to his first 25 votes, held the announcement in the shade and kept it short, leading most present to agree(again) that they would vote for him twice if they could, just for not engaging in the normal long winded, never ending political speech that we've come to love and expect in America. "I may not be able to put food on everyone's plate, but I certainly can let you off early to eat lunch." Mr. Coleman took a lesson out of the University handbook, like the professor that let their class out early and secures the positive evaluation from his students, Mr. Coleman secured his.

The Carrboro News attempted to get a head count, but with the crowd abuzz from the rousing speech it was like trying to count bees in a bee hive, everytime we got to ten or eleven, virtually all people had moved to a new position so we had to start again. We asked a bystander if he was able to estimate the size of the crowd and he responded "A lot".

Ellie Kinaird, displays rapt attention in hopes of replicating Dan's rousing speechtalking skills in front of the Full North Carolina House. To Mr. Coleman's left(The readers right) is the WCOM sound man balancing the sound for the first in the new "Greatest 21st Century Carrboro Speeches" Series which will be available on WCOM for a small subscription fee(Included in the series will be the epic "WSM- Nathan-Ruffin- United We Stand against Bruce" speech.). In the background you see Kirk Ross(acting photographer-The Carrboro Citizen), landing photos for his centerfold spread "What's Behind Dan "The Man" Coleman."(He is presently in the "Shoot" position that all seasoned photographers engage in endlessly so they don't miss another Kodak moment.

At the close of the meeting all participants, held hands, said a silent prayer and then gently swayed in the breeze as they sang "God Bless Carrboro"(Included in the Great Speeches tape) as Dan Coleman slowly bicycled off into the sunset and his first votes went off for lunch.