Carrboro News Diet- A Revolutionary New Idea
As we survey our wonderful
little town, we have noticed that there is a bit of an excess weight
problem, Now, don't get us wrong, we're not judging whether being
overweight is a good or a bad thing, to us it's...just.... a thing.
Other media outlets have sort of grabbed on to this little diet
craze thing and milked it for all it's worth, so as the true leader
that The Carrboro News is, we quickly decided to follow them, but
just until we got ahead of them. And that is where we are now because
this article has served to bring us up even to them and then leave
them in the dust because we are doing something that they have never
had the foresight to do. We are introducing our New and Improved
Time-Tested The Carrboro News Diet.
We've all read about
the South Beach Diet, The Atkins Diet, The Starvation Diet, The
Water Diet, The Ice Cream and Chocolate Fudge Diet, and quite frankly
it all becomes very confusing. With every single diet out there
you read about the incredible success stories(usually promoted by
the people who made up the diet) and the incredible failures(usually
promoted by the attorneys who are cueing the makers of the diet).
How in the world do you
choose a diet? It may work or it may not work for you and if it
doesn't work, which one do you have a better chance of making a
ton of money of you get a good lawyer and sue the diet maker? These
are very difficult questions that each dieter must ponder- and with
the latest option of lawsuits, there is a whole other issue of ethics
that must be examined by the would be dieter.
We at The Carrboro News
have also faced that dilemma. A few of us had a few extra pounds
that we thought we might like to shed(not because being overweight
is a bad thing- just because we think it's a thing that some people
may want to change). We search the Archives of The Raleigh News
& Observer, The Chapel Hill News, The Durham Herald, The Durham
Sun and The Daily Tar Heel and could find absolutely no trace of
a diet program developed by any of those news outlets.
We've spent the last
10 years developing and improving The Carrboro News Diet and feel
that it is at a point in its development that we can comfortably
present it to our readers. The diet is revolutionary in that it
takes very little money to implement(you won't have to buy any books
describing it or recipe books so you can find something that you
can bear to eat) and the developers of the diet, The Carrboro News
will not stand to profit by selling our diet(A rare concept- but
again, just another first we can put in our feather).
This new revolutionary
diet has two important and very equal concepts behind it, eating
Eating: Don't stuff your
face until your full, bloated and can't do anything except roll
over to the couch for a nap(or to watch your favorite TV show).
Avoid junk foods- most of the crap you get in the stores has sugar
added to make it taste better so that you eat more of it. If you
have no self-control, then pick foods you don't like and you'll
eat less of them.(The junk foods also have all kinds of chemicals
put in them to make them last longer so the manufacturer and keep
them on the self longer and make more money- at the risk of your
health. But that has nothing to do with dieting and is more in the
area of destroying your overall health, so we won't mention it here).
OK... that about covers eating.... eat good foods, less sugar and
less food! Got it?
Exercising- Once you
cut down on your eating then after you finish eating you'll feel
like exercising instead of rolling over to the couch and vegetating.
The only chance you have of losing weight on the couch is if you
watch a depressing drama that brings you to tears, but the amount
of fluid that you'll lose through your tear ducts is negligible
compared to working up a good sweat on the bicycle(or running) and
getting that old metabolism pumping again.
That's it folks. Lose
weight the good old-fashioned way: Eat Less and Exercise. If you
follow this plan(adjusting it to your own personal situation), we
guarantee you will lose weight.(But if you don't, don't bother trying
to sue us because The Carrboro News has no money- plus any court
of law will recognize that The Carrboro News' Revolutionary Diet
works, and if it doesn't the dieter needs to look in the mirror
to see where the problem lays!).
the proof you need to convince you that The Carrboro News
Before and After
Picture is Worth a Thousand Words
(even though our diet only needs 4 words-Eat Less and Exercise)