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The Carrboro News Diet- A Revolutionary New Idea

As we survey our wonderful little town, we have noticed that there is a bit of an excess weight problem, Now, don't get us wrong, we're not judging whether being overweight is a good or a bad thing, to us it's...just.... a thing. Other media outlets have sort of grabbed on to this little diet craze thing and milked it for all it's worth, so as the true leader that The Carrboro News is, we quickly decided to follow them, but just until we got ahead of them. And that is where we are now because this article has served to bring us up even to them and then leave them in the dust because we are doing something that they have never had the foresight to do. We are introducing our New and Improved Time-Tested The Carrboro News Diet.

We've all read about the South Beach Diet, The Atkins Diet, The Starvation Diet, The Water Diet, The Ice Cream and Chocolate Fudge Diet, and quite frankly it all becomes very confusing. With every single diet out there you read about the incredible success stories(usually promoted by the people who made up the diet) and the incredible failures(usually promoted by the attorneys who are cueing the makers of the diet). How in the world do you choose a diet? It may work or it may not work for you and if it doesn't work, which one do you have a better chance of making a ton of money of you get a good lawyer and sue the diet maker? These are very difficult questions that each dieter must ponder- and with the latest option of lawsuits, there is a whole other issue of ethics that must be examined by the would be dieter.

We at The Carrboro News have also faced that dilemma. A few of us had a few extra pounds that we thought we might like to shed(not because being overweight is a bad thing- just because we think it's a thing that some people may want to change). We search the Archives of The Raleigh News & Observer, The Chapel Hill News, The Durham Herald, The Durham Sun and The Daily Tar Heel and could find absolutely no trace of a diet program developed by any of those news outlets.

We've spent the last 10 years developing and improving The Carrboro News Diet and feel that it is at a point in its development that we can comfortably present it to our readers. The diet is revolutionary in that it takes very little money to implement(you won't have to buy any books describing it or recipe books so you can find something that you can bear to eat) and the developers of the diet, The Carrboro News will not stand to profit by selling our diet(A rare concept- but again, just another first we can put in our feather).

This new revolutionary diet has two important and very equal concepts behind it, eating and exercising:

Eating: Don't stuff your face until your full, bloated and can't do anything except roll over to the couch for a nap(or to watch your favorite TV show). Avoid junk foods- most of the crap you get in the stores has sugar added to make it taste better so that you eat more of it. If you have no self-control, then pick foods you don't like and you'll eat less of them.(The junk foods also have all kinds of chemicals put in them to make them last longer so the manufacturer and keep them on the self longer and make more money- at the risk of your health. But that has nothing to do with dieting and is more in the area of destroying your overall health, so we won't mention it here). OK... that about covers eating.... eat good foods, less sugar and less food! Got it?

Exercising- Once you cut down on your eating then after you finish eating you'll feel like exercising instead of rolling over to the couch and vegetating. The only chance you have of losing weight on the couch is if you watch a depressing drama that brings you to tears, but the amount of fluid that you'll lose through your tear ducts is negligible compared to working up a good sweat on the bicycle(or running) and getting that old metabolism pumping again.

That's it folks. Lose weight the good old-fashioned way: Eat Less and Exercise. If you follow this plan(adjusting it to your own personal situation), we guarantee you will lose weight.(But if you don't, don't bother trying to sue us because The Carrboro News has no money- plus any court of law will recognize that The Carrboro News' Revolutionary Diet works, and if it doesn't the dieter needs to look in the mirror to see where the problem lays!).

All the proof you need to convince you that The Carrboro News Diet works!
Before and After
A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words
(even though our diet only needs 4 words-Eat Less and Exercise)

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